My Cup Overfloweth

The other night I was laying in bed and I couldn't sleep because I was just so overwhelmed and excited about my amazing life. I have just over a week left here in France and my time here has been everything I didn't allow myself to hope it would be. Meaning it sounded amazing before I got here so I talked myself down so I wouldn't be disappointed but everything I was promised was exactly how it was, and more. Yes it's been hard work. Yes living in someone else's home in a different culture can be stressful. Yes the kids were a handful when they came but I loved it all. And most importantly my French is way better than when I arrived and THAT is what this is all about.

Sunday I'm planning on going to Barcelona for a few days (I really need to book my ticket but I'm blogging instead :P) Spain wasn't even part of my original travel plans but I really feel like I want to go there. I'm not sure why but I'm very much looking forward to it.

My flight back to Canada leaves from Amsterdam at 8am on August 31st so I'll be flying between Barcelona and Amsterdam on Friday. That means I'll have a few hours to kill in Amsterdam as well which will be nice. It's where I started this adventure and I'm looking forward to wrapping it up there.

And then when I get home, I am moving in with a friend of mine which is going to be amazing and school starts soon and I'm super excited for my classes and to see my friends and well yes. Life just rocks.

That night when I couldn't sleep I ended up taking my pillow outside and laying on the balcony and looking up at the stars. You can't see all that many here but it was enough to just sort of center and ground me. I tried to pray but really all I could say was "Thank you" Thank you for this amazing life and these wonderful opportunities and for blessing me with more than I could ever dream of. Thank you. Thank you for it all.

New Roommate

My potential roommate for September got a job in town which means we can start house hunting. I am SO excited to live with this girl. She's a French major/teacher and did an exchange to France a few years back so we can practice French with each other. She scrapbooks and knits and likes the same kinds of movies and music that I do. Plus we like doing a lot of the same things. I'm feeling really confident about this arrangement and am not concerned that living together will damage our friendship. Instead I think we'll become even closer and our place will be where all of our friends hang out. Plus it means I don't have to live with strangers anymore. Awesome news!

Kerri and I met when I was in first year and she was in third. I didn't realize I had this picture until the other day. In fact if you had asked if she was there that day, I would have said no because I didn't remember or know her that well. Plus she left for France later that year so it was really in second year that we got to know each other. (and no, I can't remember the name of the other girl in this picture)

This is us at the Campus Clubs end of year banquet in 2012.

We have had lots of adventures together already. From the KW Oktoberfest Parade to picnics on Heather's living room floor because it was raining outside.

The three of us (Heather, me and Kerri) are super close. Heather decided to live with a boy (:P) but I know she'll come visit lots. I'm stoked that our house can be the meeting point now. It was Heather's place but this is going to rock.

And Erin's still around too. She's just finishing her fourth year (Kerri and Heather have graduated) but we're all still in Waterloo this fall. Woohoo!!!

I Promise I'm Not Hiding...

I've mentioned that I have the best room in the house. My boss told me that when he showed it to me for the first time and I confirmed it again last week to which he replied "yes, you're here for two months, everyone else comes and goes. That's why we give you the best one." I have the best view of the Bay of Cannes, a lovely breeze and a nice desk where I keep my computer and papers. When I have free time in the afternoon I generally can be found up here. I'm just the most comfortable here.

I was discussing it with my mom and she said "yes, you've always liked your room". It's true. I try to blame it on those first four months in Ontario when my little know-it-all-roommate was driving me nuts and I was hiding from her. It started a bit of a pattern but the truth is it's been going on a lot longer than that. Mom said it started when we lived on Perth Street which we moved to at the end of sixth grade. I countered and said I remember playing alone with my barbies and the door closed on Astoria but the truth is, it started the moment I got my own room. I often joke that the best thing about having three brothers was that I got my own room and they had to share but it is actually very true. Ever since I was big enough to have my own room, I've retreated to it. I don't specifically remember getting my own room. We can assume it was whenever Robert was big enough to sleep in a real bed rather than the crib, so probably when I was four or five. Before that we all shared a room. I do remember the bed I got. It was white, homemade (my parents bought it at a garage sale) and it was an odd 3/4 sized mattress. Bigger than a single or a twin but not as big as a double. And I had a Holly Hobby bedspread and matching curtains. I remember playing alone in that room too.  We had a huge rec room downstairs but I often played in my room, and that has continued.

I recently re-pinned this quote on Pinterest. It is so true. I am an extremely social person but I NEED alone time. That's why I am so incredibly thankful for my placement this summer. I get a lot of alone time where I can retreat and hang out in my room and it's wonderfully restorative.

Some days I also think it's why I'm still single. Because I CAN be alone. So many people can't. In contrast I thrive on it. Yes it gets a bit lonely sometimes but I have a ton of friends and I can always reach out to them without feeling any obligation. It's a good place for someone like me to be in :) As long as no one thinks I'm hiding.

Ashley

I know a lot of people and I consider a lot of people friends. Some people are particularly special though. One year ago today I met one of those people. One year ago today I arrived in Chicoutimi, Quebec and when I got to my host family's home, I realized that there would be two other students living there with me. What I didn't know was how much and how deeply one of them would impact my life and in how short of a time. I met a lot of people during my time in Quebec but Ashley Gibson and I formed the deepest bond of all. As someone who only had brothers and who hadn't had much success with roommates, I never knew the intimacy that could develop when you live with someone, especially when you are sharing the experience of the Explore Program. It is very intense and without Ashley and the other friends I made, I don't think I would have made it though.

Ashley and I initially connected because we were so close in age (she only had six months on me). Our other housemate, Museb was much younger and good was a good sport about taking on the role of "little brother". In the five weeks that I was in Chicoutimi Ashley and I were pretty much always by each others sides. She was in a different classroom but we often ate lunch together and sought each other out at break times and for group events. Most evenings we either had dinner at the school or with our host family and then she and I (and sometimes Museb) would go out. I spent more time in pubs and bars in that time than all the rest of
my life combined (well...it felt like it anyway ;)) But really, that's what we did. Ashley drank, I drove, we were a fabulous pair. Then on weekends we'd go exploring. It was generally someone different in the back seat. Victoria joined us a few times, Beth, Vita, Steve, Adam, Connor, the list goes on but it was always, ALWAYS, Ashley and I together in the front. We covered the Saguenay Region in the sun, rain and fog and sampled every cheese curd, ice cream and beer (for her) that we could find. It was around the fourth week that I had to go out quickly. I was driving away from the house when I realized "this is the first time I've been alone in my car since I arrived!!!"

I wouldn't have had it any other way. We shared so much in such a short time

I saw Ashley twice after Quebec. Once on July 8th when I was passing through Toronto and managed to meet up with her for dinner (I met her mom that night too) and once on August 31st when we met up for lunch at a restaurant just down the street from her house. Once school started our lives both got so busy it was hard to coordinate our schedules. Even so we BBM'd frequently and stayed in touch on Facebook. Over Christmas we made plans to get together for her birthday on January 6th. My return was delayed by the death of my grandfather and her party was postponed due to the death of her grandmother. A few days after our last exchange which was "I'll let you know when we reschedule" I received a phone call from Ashley's mother telling me that Ashley had died. As far as I know her death was caused by a bad mix of new prescription drugs and just like that her young life was ended. She had just had her 32nd birthday. I did make it up to Collingwood for the funeral. That was one of the hardest drives I've ever had to make but it was also therapeutic in it's own way. It seemed like a long drive was a good way to pay homage to someone who I got to know so well in my car. I still miss her like crazy and think of her often. I've lost other friends and acquaintances but never one whom I was so close with. Even if she was only in my life for a little over seven months.

Good-bye

My latest roommate has moved out. It's a weird feeling. She's been here for six months but we hardly ever talked so I can't really say I'll "miss" her. We both just let each other do our own thing and didn't get in the others way. We shared the fridge and kitchen space but she let me have a lot more space than she ever took. The fridge looks weird because it's half empty (like, the right half is perfectly clear) and the shelf where she kept her food is empty. Other than the fact that her bedroom door is open and the room is cleared out, nothing is really different. I didn't get a chance to say good-bye though. Maybe that's what feels weird. Even though "good-bye" would be more than we've said to each other in a long while.

A new girl took a look at the place the other day. I haven't heard yet if she's going to take it or not. For the record, whoever moves in next will be my fourth roommate in two years. The first one drove me nuts, the second one I never, EVER saw, and the third one who just moved out was just there. Very unobtrusive. I'm interested to see how the next one will be.