Vegan Monday: 1/52

I have a dozen other ideas for blog posts but somehow this is the only thing I'm staying on top of. Hopefully I'll get to the other ones soon.

Verdict for today: planning is everything, and this is getting easier.

Breakfast
Turkish Coffee - black
I almost slipped up and made regular coffee but I remembered before it was too late
Toast with peanut butter and jam
Banana

Lunch
Homemade Butternut Squash soup
I actually made this last week but ended up not eating it so I froze it for today. It was literally roasted squash, a carrot, some onion, garlic, a dash of olive oil and water. Not as spectacular as when I make it with my homemade chicken stock but still warm and filling. One of these days I will make vegetable stock so I have it on hand.

Snack
Pom Tango tea from DavidsTea
Hard cinnamon candies
The snacking is definitely the hardest. Especially after Christmas. I have a ton of junk food left over but most of it has milk chocolate or other milk products so I can't eat it. Soon that will all be cleared out and I can really get on track.

Supper
Green Onion Cakes
My friend Amanda posted about these last week and I've been looking forward to them for days. They're pretty easy and just something fun to try. I halved the recipe and still have a bunch for breakfast tomorrow. This counts as my "one new thing" too since it was a new recipe!
Salad: greens, yellow pepper, tomatoes, green onions, black beans, navy beans and balsamic vinegar as a dressing.

Vegan Monday: Take two

Being prepared is key. Knowing this was coming made it much easier to plan for and get mentally prepared for. Because I am only doing this one day a week at this point it's just a matter of deciding what I eat today and what I eat tomorrow. Decisions I make all the time, but now with a bit more structure.

Breakfast
Red River Cereal with maple syrup straight off a farm in Waterloo
a naval orange
Turkish coffee - black

I mentioned before that not having milk in my coffee is likely going to be one of the hardest parts of this challenge. However, I received some Turkish coffee from a friend who visits Turkey often so I just planned to drink this instead since it is intended to be drunk black. I'm still working on learning how to make it properly but it definitely gave me the kick I needed!

Lunch
Two Barley, Wild Rice & Cranberry in a White Tea & Honey Dressing
Leftovers from a last minute purchase for a potluck I attended yesterday. I realize most Vegans don't approve of eating honey but I I figured that was one concession I was willing to make.
1/2 an avacado
a handful of Triscuits
a pickle

Snacks
Popcorn made with grape seed oil
Brazillionaire black tea from DavidsTea as well as Organic White Tea
In-shell Sunflower seeds

Supper
Roasted Veggies using this recipe
Except I used butternut squash, carrots, mushrooms, onions and a few grape tomatoes. Gotta use what's in the fridge!
Vegan Potato Pancakes

So today the vegan thing went really well! I already have some recipes lined up for next week and I also found a restaurant within walking distance of my house. Maybe I'll check it out one of these weeks. Tomorrow though? It's all about the cheese ;)

ETA: I'm aware that aside from the salad at lunch there was a pretty distinct lack of protein in my diet today. That's largely because I wasn't home and able to prepare the dried beans I like to use. I'll definitely focus on remedying that next week.

Vegan Mondays?

I go back and forth on the idea of vegetarianism. I think there are some good reasons to embrace that kind of lifestyle but I like meat. I don't eat a LOT of meat, I am a student after all and meat is expensive. I was reading the (now defunct) blog God, I Love Paris because I read her book this summer and really enjoyed it. She has dabbled in Vegan Mondays and I'm wondering if this might not be something good to try. Vegetarian or Meatless Monday's really isn't an issue. I used to joke that I was more likely to have a "Meaty Monday" because it seemed like it was the one day I'd actually eat meat. But vegan? Once a week? It's worth a try. If only to be more mindful of what I'm actually eating. What I like about Amy's approach is she doesn't beat herself up if she does slip up. She just notes it and moves on. So, if I was to try and implement this for the new year, that gives me two Monday's to practice. Today and next week. Neither are really ideal since I'm going away over Christmas so I'm frantically trying to eat up the leftovers in my fridge, many of which contain meat or meat products, but in the spirit of Amy, I'll just list things and move on. So here's what I've had to eat so far today with the "non-conforming" items bolded:

Breakfast 
Pumpkin Breakfast Quinoa (actually vegan since I didn't eat it with yogurt)
Coffee with 2% milk (this will be hands down the hardest switch.)

Lunch
Brown Rice California Rolls from Trader Joe's (this was kind of a snack while I was shopping in the US and then I had actual lunch when I got home an hour later)
Quinoa Bean Salad (quinoa, black beans, navy beans, yellow peppers, tomatoes and avocado)
Buffalo Chicken Roll-ups (leftovers: chicken, cream cheese and hot sauce in Pillsbury crescent rolls because I saw something similar on Pinterest and the crescents were on sale)
Christmas Cookies (butter and eggs)

Chocolate Chai tea (I'm thinking chocolate disqualifies it?)

Supper: 
Roast chicken (leftovers)
Roasted potatoes
Steamed Carrots
Steamed Brussel Sprouts
Dill Pickles
Cranberry Jelly

So essentially none of my meals were meat/dairy free but I could definitely do it. We'll see how next week goes.

Happy Easter!

Lent seems like it's the longest period of time ever and then suddenly, it's over! This was only my second time participating and it went way better than last year. Let's review what I committed to:
So this year I'm doing candy. All small wrapped hard or soft candy, chocolates, chocolate bars, you name it, I'm not eating it. Just cutting out very identifiable sugary sweets. 

And I did! Did I give up sugar entirley? Not by a long shot. I still had dessert every night on the cruise and I still baked at home but I didn't eat ANY hard or soft candy, chocolates, chocolate bars etc. Candy is EVERYWHERE and it was good to be aware of it. It was actually a lot easier to pass up than I thought it would be and a lot easier to avoid than cheese was last year.

I think my biggest accomplishment was giving up Candy Crush. I deleted it off my phone and never looked back. The withdrawl from that was HARD. I ended up surfing Pinterest a lot more than usual initially but after awhile even that went back to normal. I will allow myself to eat candy again but I won't be re-downloading Candy Crush so that's a big accomplishment.

I did start using Instagram a lot more www.instagram.com/agent_713 but it's because I was participating in the rethinkchurch.org's 2015 Lent photo-a-day-words challenge which I have found to be deeply rewarding.

Lent is supposed to be a period of reflection on the sacrifice that Jesus made for us and on Easter we celebrate the sweetness of his resurrection. As I re-introduce (limited amounts of) candy, I will savour that sweetness and be reminded of the joy that only he brings.

Happy Easter everyone.

Lent 2015: The one where I give up candy

Hello blog world. I'm fairly sure this is the longest I've gone without blogging but hey, summer is coming right? Anyway, just thought I'd check in and record my plans for Lent this year. I never really followed up on last year but the bottom line is, it went well. After the first slip up I willingly had cheese just a handful of more times. Twice on pizza I got for free (which was a rule I set before I started. As a student I don't refuse free pizza and I got it twice last year during Lent. I wasn't about to pick off the cheese either so I just ate it.) Another time friends of mine who own a deli brought a bunch of different cheeses for me to try and obviously I couldn't say no. So yeah, cheese a handful of times in six weeks is way better than all the time like normal. Of course I made up for it in France ;)

So this year I'm doing candy. All small wrapped hard or soft candy, chocolates, chocolate bars, you name it, I'm not eating it. I developed a nasty chocolate addiction last year and I need to kick it. Late last year I was toying with the idea of giving up sugar entirely but that turned out to be WAY harder than I thought it would be so I'm starting small. Just cutting out very identifiable sugary sweets. 

Here's the hard part though. I also have a horrible addiction to Candy Crush. The game on your phone? I only have a handful of games downloaded including that, Candy Crush Saga and Words With Friends. Well I'm not giving up WWF but I DID delete both Candy Crush and Candy Crush Saga from my phone. That's a big deal because I'm on something like level 406 in CC and it's going to be weird to not have it to zone out with. That's the thing though. It's like candy. I'm very mindless when it comes to eating candy or playing the game and being more mindful is what this is all about. 

I'm going to replace the desire to play Candy Crush with reading scripture and the desire to eat candy with praying. I know that sounds pious but isn't that what Lent is all about? I've been doing a lot more of this anyway so it shouldn't be too terribly difficult but getting rid of those two candy addictions in my life will force a reminder to keep my mind on what is most important. Wish me luck!

Three Three

All day I've been trying to figure out how to capture what it means to be thirty three. I feel like it's not much different than turning eight, or thirteen or any other age. With a summer birthday I was often at my grandparents house in Edmonton for my big day. I remember waking up on those hot summer days, stretching and then remembering BAM! It's my birthday. I'd lay there for a bit and wonder if I felt any different. Any older. Not really. Then I'd get up and look in the big round mirror. I didn't look any different than yesterday either. So then I'd shuffle out to the kitchen and the only thing that made the day different was that Grandma would give me a big happy birthday hug and each person, as they woke and found their way to the butter yellow kitchen, would add their good wishes and hugs. 

That's pretty much the same as today. It as just another day. I swept in the morning, did some dusting, and let a parade of repair people through the gates. And periodically throughout the day I'd check Facebook where I always had a host of new birthday wishes waiting. They're coming in from all over the world and in multiple languages. That is how I know I am loved. The fact that these people took a few seconds out of their day to send me some good wishes. I appreciate each and every one. 

I don't feel any different today. Yes 33 is closer to 35 which sounds closer to 40 but this next year is going to be exciting. I'll be graduating in June and starting, as Meredith and I decided "the third half of my life." More chapters in this book of life. Bring it on. 

#32 Watch all the movies on the AFI Top 100 list

The American Film Institute has published a number of Top 100 Lists. #32 on my list of Trucs a Faire is to watch all of the ones on the "100 Years...100 Films" list. That's the original list and even though it was published in 1998 and there has since been updates, that's the one I'm going with because it's the one I was referring to when I started my list in 2006. I don't watch a lot of movies in general and rarely during the school year so I tend to make the most progress on this list in the summer. I think I have a note somewhere on when I watched these movies but that doesn't matter so much. The point is, if they have an X beside them, I've seen them and some of them, like "The Sound of Music" I've watched multiple times. My most recent viewing was of "The African Queen" and I was pleasantly surprised. It's a pretty simple story but quite enjoyable. I'll try and remember to post updates of my progress from time to time. For now, as of July 28, 2014 I've watched 43/100 movies on this list.

# MOVIE YEAR
X 1 CITIZEN KANE 1941
X 2 CASABLANCA 1942
X 3 THE GODFATHER 1972
X 4 GONE WITH THE WIND 1939
X 5 LAWRENCE OF ARABIA 1962
X 6 THE WIZARD OF OZ 1939
X 7 THE GRADUATE 1967
X 8 ON THE WATERFRONT 1954
X 9 SCHINDLER'S LIST 1993

X 10 SINGIN' IN THE RAIN 1952
X 11 IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 1946
X 12 SUNSET BLVD. 1950
X 13 THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI 1957
14 SOME LIKE IT HOT 1959
X 15 STAR WARS 1977
16 ALL ABOUT EVE 1950
X 17 THE AFRICAN QUEEN 1951
18 PSYCHO 1960
19 CHINATOWN 1974

20 ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST 1975
21 THE GRAPES OF WRATH 1940
22 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY 1968
23 THE MALTESE FALCON 1941
24 RAGING BULL 1980
X 25 E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL 1982
26 DR. STRANGELOVE 1964
27 BONNIE AND CLYDE 1967 28 APOCALYPSE NOW 1979
29 MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON 1939

30 THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE 1948
31 ANNIE HALL 1977
32 THE GODFATHER PART II 1974
X 33 HIGH NOON 1952
X 34 TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD 1962
X 35 IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT 1934
36 MIDNIGHT COWBOY 1969
37 THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES 1946
38 DOUBLE INDEMNITY 1944
39 DOCTOR ZHIVAGO 1965

X 40 NORTH BY NORTHWEST 1959
41 WEST SIDE STORY 1961
42 REAR WINDOW 1954
43 KING KONG 1933
X 44 THE BIRTH OF A NATION 1915
X 45 A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE 1951
46 A CLOCKWORK ORANGE 1971
47 TAXI DRIVER 1976
48 JAWS 1975
X 49 SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS 1937

X 50 BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID 1969
X 51 THE PHILADELPHIA STORY 1940
52 FROM HERE TO ETERNITY 1953
53 AMADEUS 1984
X 54 ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT 1930
X 55 THE SOUND OF MUSIC 1965
56 M*A*S*H 1970
57 THE THIRD MAN 1949
X 58 FANTASIA 1940
59 REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE 1955

X 60 RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK 1981
61 VERTIGO 1958
X 62 TOOTSIE 1982
63 STAGECOACH 1939
64 CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND 1977
65 THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS 1991
66 NETWORK 1976
67 THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE 1962
X 68 AN AMERICAN IN PARIS 1951
69 SHANE 1953

X 70 THE FRENCH CONNECTION 1971
X 71 FORREST GUMP 1994
X 72 BEN-HUR 1959
X 73 WUTHERING HEIGHTS 1939
74 THE GOLD RUSH 1925
X 75 DANCES WITH WOLVES 1990
76 CITY LIGHTS 1931
77 AMERICAN GRAFFITI 1973
X 78 ROCKY 1976
79 THE DEER HUNTER 1978

80 THE WILD BUNCH 1969
81 MODERN TIMES 1936
82 GIANT 1956 X
83 PLATOON 1986
84 FARGO 1996
85 DUCK SOUP 1933
X 86 MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY 1935
87 FRANKENSTEIN 1931
88 EASY RIDER 1969
89 PATTON 1970

90 THE JAZZ SINGER 1927
X 91 MY FAIR LADY 1964
92 A PLACE IN THE SUN 1951
93 THE APARTMENT 1960
94 GOODFELLAS 1990
95 PULP FICTION 1994
96 THE SEARCHERS 1956
X 97 BRINGING UP BABY 1938
98 UNFORGIVEN 1992
X 99 GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER 1967
X 100 YANKEE DOODLE DANDY 1942

Epiphany Island

I guess I haven't blogged about it yet but my first few weeks here in France were rough. They were rough last year but I blamed it on the fact that I had already been travelling for six weeks and had only spent one week of the past five plus months in Canada. I like France but the bottom line is, it's a foreign country and even though I understand and can communicate in the language, it's not my mother tongue so fully expressing myself is difficult. Also, my job is housework. I don't like housework at the best of times and even though I get to do it in a beautiful place, I still don't like it. So PMS and homesickness and missing Canada Day and the start of summer and the fact that my parents were on vacation so I couldn't just Skype with them whenever I wanted, resulted in me feeling very alone and unhappy for the first few weeks I was here. I reached out to a few people but the general consensus was "You're in France. You're not allowed to complain." Or feel any emotion other than ecstatic happiness apparently. That was frustrating in it's own way.
Anyway, the third week I was here I went to Île Saint-Honorat on my day off. It's the smaller of the two Lérins Islands which are both just off the coast in the Bay of Cannes. I visited the larger one, Île Sainte-Marguerite, last year and this year I made it to Saint-Honorat. It was a crazy hot day and even though I stopped and bought lunch at the Monoprix and an extra bottle of water, I probably still could have had more liquids. The island has been home to monks since the fifth-century and they cultivate six types of grapes for wine and olives for oil. There are a number of small chapels dotted around it and the main church in the middle.

I wandered around taking in the peacefulness of the place and generally avoiding all other humans because I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

I picked a spot overlooking the channel between Saint-Honorat and Saint-Marguerite for my picnic lunch. I also read a bit of the book I had with me and took a short nap under the trees. At some point during my time of reflection I realized something really simple. Something that everyone else probably realizes but something I needed to recognize as an attitude adjustment.

I don't HAVE to do my work here in France.
I GET to.

That's it. That's my big epiphany. I know a lot of people are probably thinking...yeah so. What's the difference. Or, how did you not realize that before? But that's just the point. I didn't and once I did, it was like the clouds lifted and the sun shone through. I guess it's because this is my second time here (and by here I mean in France at this job). The first time everything was new and exciting. I was constantly learning and discovering and I was dazzled by the beauty of this corner of the world. This year the shine has worn off. The sparkle is gone and while I'm glad I came, the romance is lost and it just feels like hard work. Still, I realize I am extremely lucky to be able to do a job like this, not once but twice.

I probably won't be back. Not to work anyway. And if I do it won't be next year. I need to spend a summer in Canada. I think deep down I maybe didn't want to come back this year. Or if I did my motives were wrong. I came back because it was easy. I mean I had the job given to me. Mine for the taking. All I had to do was say yes. That's way easier than applying for the jobs I want post graduation. Coming here was guaranteed. Plus it looks great. Not only to future employers, which was my rationale, but to my friends. And that's where my motive was wrong. I came because people were jealous that I get to be here and that's wrong. In the weeks leading up to leaving, I wasn't excited. I wasn't looking forward to leaving. I was already missing everyone back home. I booked my ticket and packed and came out of duty. I had committed and there was no backing out. But I would have been perfectly fine to stay in Canada. And that's why this epiphany was so important. Because my day on this little island where people have been reflecting for over fifteen hundred years, I realized just how lucky I am and I adjusted my attitude and I've been a lot happier since.

The pictures of me in this post were taken after my little revelation. Yeah I could fake a smile before but now these ones are genuine. Genuinely happy. Genuinely content. Genuinely in love with life. And ready to tackle the duties I have for the next five weeks that I am here, because I get to. Not because I have to.

Villa & Jardins Ephrussi de Rothschild

In June Meredith had a grad party. They watched the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. It takes place on the French Riviera and she called and asked me if I had visited the town of "Beaumont-sur-Mer" last year while I was here. With a bit of Googling we realized that Beaumont-sur-Mer is a fictitious town created for the movie but that yes, I have either been to or passed through many of the places where the filming took place.

When I arrived in France and actually had time, I watched the movie myself. I recognized a few of the locations and made a mental note to try and check out some of the other places. A few days later the family I work for announced they were going sightseeing and asked if I wanted to go with them. I took them up on the offer at the last minute and we headed towards Cap-Ferrat which I thought sounded vaguely familiar. I didn't know where we were going but since I was just along for the ride I didn't think very much of it. I figured it would be good to see the area and then maybe when I had a day off I could go explore the area on my own.

 Well it turns out our destination was the Villa and Gardens of Ephrussi de Rothschild which was one of the specific filming locations for the movie!!! It's not the main house (that's a private villa according to Wikipedia) but it was still used in the movie. How cool.

The villa is gorgeous. Aside from the fascinating history and the dancing fountains that do a choreographed water show every twenty minutes, the gardens are gorgeous. It was a super hot day but we had fun exploring this beautiful spot together. I definitely understand why they used it in the movie.

#28 Visit Great Britain

Number 28 on My List is "Visit Great Britain." I realize that, like with many of the things on this list, it's pretty vague and unspecific. Therefore, even though "Great Britain" has a lot more to explore than just London, I'm officially crossing it off my list. It's like learning French. It will be a life long pursuit. But, even though this was only my first visit to London, I managed to see quite a bit. I took a number of walking tours so I feel relatively familiar with the downtown area. I visited the Parliament, Westminster Abbey, The Monument,

and the National and Portrait Galleries. In general I liked the city. There's tons to see and you'd never be bored. However, I also found it extremely expensive and rather overwhelming. Plus I was annoyed with having to use the pound. I do want to go back and explore some more. Maybe it will be better next time when I know better what to expect.

Divided Identities: Reflections on D-Day

Juno Beach, Normandy, France

A year ago today I was on the beaches of Normandy. Like many others before me I made the pilgrimage to site of the D-Day landings to see the area where so many soldiers lost their lives. For the Allies that was a day of victory. The day Hitler’s Atlantic Wall was breached and the push inland began. My friends and I were staying in Paris so we rented a car and drove to the coast. We had to be up before 5am in order to make it to the airport to pick up our rental car and make it out to Courseulles-sur-Mer, also known as Juno Beach, where the Canadian memorial ceremonies were taking place.

Eric, Heidi, Heather, Caitlin and Brendan.

We had spent the previous two weeks touring other First and Second World War battle sites, cemeteries and war memorials in the Netherlands, Belgium and the North of France. Flanders, Ypres, Passchendaele, Theipval, Beaumont-Hamel, Vimy Ridge, Dieppe, the Scheldt Estuary, we had seen literally thousands of grave markers and hundreds of thousands of names engraved in monuments. We had even toured two German Cemeteries to give us the contrast of how the “other side” remembered.

Throughout this time I was reminded of why I am proud to be Canadian. Why I wear a maple leaf and can proudly sing “God Save the Queen.” The Canadian contributions to these wars are undeniable even if my professors at Georgia Southern University had omitted any mention of it during my recent exchange. But under it all I was unsettled. Being Canadian, and being on this tour, meant embracing my British roots. It meant focusing on the “ready aye ready” aspect of my country’s response to the declarations of war and being ready to serve for God and King. It meant presenting a paper on the experience and sacrifice of my great-great-great uncle Edward Shannon Grant who was killed during the infamous last 100 Days of the Great War. It meant suppressing the other half of me. The German/Eastern European side that didn’t quite fit with the Allied view of how the events of 1914-1918 and 1939-1945 had played out and I wasn’t sure how to deal with that so I just ignored it.

Juno Beach Centre, Courseulles-sur-Mer, Normandy, France

June 6, 2013 was a cool clear day. Being the 69^th anniversary there were a respectable number of visitors at the Juno Beach Centre. Veterans and dignitaries, tourists and locals, we all gathered together to remember. We arrived with plenty of time to secure a decent seat and seek out our Professor who was also there with another tour group. After the ceremony which was similar to the familiar November 11^th Remembrance Day ceremonies back home, we toured the museum and then made our way down to the beach. We joined in the reception and visited a bit before heading out.

Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial

Our next stop was Omaha Beach where the American ceremony was just ending. The contrast between the two sites and the approach was striking. The American Cemetery is perched high on a cliff above the beach where as the Canadian centre is just steps away from the sand. The American Cemetery reminded me a lot of Washington, DC and even had a mini reflecting pool. The guide we talked to explained that for many French and other Europeans, this cemetery is the closest they will come to the United States and the goal of the design of the area was to give them both a feel for the American style of memorialization and to be a tribute to all of the fallen. A little bit of American on French soil for the soldiers that are buried there and for those that visit.

Me on Omaha Beach, Normandy, France

On the beach we took off our shoes (or in my case boots) and waded in the water. I imagined the waves lapping stained with the blood of the fallen and tried to imagine what it would have been like to be there on that day in 1944. A bit further down the beach were a couple of German soldiers also with their boots off enjoying the sand and surf. I joked with them that their boots were going to get wet and we started chatting. They were university students in Hamburg and had signed up for a tour where they would go and lay commemorative wreathes at a series of cemeteries in Northern France. We chatted a bit about travelling and the sites they were visiting. I wanted to ask them so much more. What was it like to be representing the “losing side.” Is that how they saw it? What did they feel about their countries involvement in these wars? How did it feel to come to these places and know that young men their age were buried there. Of course I couldn’t. It wasn’t the time or the place but I still wonder.

La Cambe German War Cemetery

They had mentioned that there was a large German War Cemetery close by so after we finished at Omaha Beach, we headed out into the countryside to find it. After a few wrong turns and a stop at a small museum for directions, we finally found La Cambe. It was massive. Over 20,000 graves all in flat black stone with a large mound of earth in the centre. We each split off and wandered the site lost in our own reflection. I recorded in my diary that the idea of “sacrifice for God and country” that was so prevalent in the Commonwealth cemeteries was missing there and instead there is just an intense feeling of sadness.

The memorial in the center of the La Cambe cemetery

In the visitors centre we looked at pictures of German War cemeteries all around the world. France, Belgium, Egypt, Italy, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada…wait KITCHENER??? There’s a German War Cemetery in our hometown? Wow. We made it back to Paris that night and I received news that my sister-in-law was in labour. A day of remembering the dead and a new life was about to make its appearance. Cue the Lion King.

German War Graves at Woodland Cemetery, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada

A year later here I am finally sitting in that cemetery in Kitchener. The orderly row of stubby stone crosses spread out before me in a similar style to the ones all over Western Europe. In that weeks following my visit to Normandy I was able to visit Germany. I went to Bremen and then to Bremerhaven (the port of Bremen) where in 1953 my maternal grandparents had boarded the Beaverbrae to leave war torn Europe and make a new life in Canada. I visited Gockenholz and Beeden-Bostel. The tiny settlements (I hesitate to even call them towns considering how small they are) where they had lived and farmed in the years following Germany’s defeat and the church where they had been married. I spent almost a week in Berlin exploring and soaking in answers to the questions I had wanted to ask those soldiers on Omaha Beach about how Germany remembers. How they remember, acknowledge, and move on. How they talk about the events of their history but don’t dwell on them instead looking to a better tomorrow. And I found a way to reconcile the two sides of me. To acknowledge that without these massive conflicts Europe wouldn’t have been torn apart and my Great Grandparents wouldn’t have been forced to flee Estonia and then Poland. That Grandpa Bergner may never have left his little town in the south of Germany and found himself working for a farmer in the north where he met a tall handsome woman named Elsa. And they wouldn’t have needed to come to Canada, sponsored by the Lutheran church as refugees, repaying their passage by working on a sugar beet farm in Alberta. And ultimately moving to Edmonton where my parents were able to meet and have me.

So I sit and I look at these stones and I am thankful that even though I had family on both sides of the conflict, they were protected and now I can sit in a town that used to be called Berlin, and is now named after a British Army officer, in a country I am proud to call my own, and embrace my divided identity: the British side and the German side and all the other parts in between. 

New Theory

As I get closer to my university graduation the big question on everyone's minds seems to be where I am going to live when I'm finished. They all want to know where I'm going to end up. I admit it's been frustrating me a lot. I don't KNOW. I have some ideas of the type of job I want to have but I'm lost as to where I should be. I like Ontario a lot but I don't feel like it's my forever home. BC will always be where I'm "from" and I know I would be welcomed back there any time with open arms but I don't really feel like it's where I need to be in the near future. I'm not sure where that leaves me and the idea of picking somewhere else to live hasn't been all that appealing lately either.

Recently I've realized something. I don't HAVE to decide. I don't have to live in one place. I can continue to be nomadic and live here and there for as long as I want. A few of the jobs I have in mind are shorter term opportunities which would entail moving a lot. I'm very much okay with this. I'm sure a lot of people aren't and won't be but I'm not living their life.

I had lunch today with a friend who is in the process of completing his Phd and starting to look at life after school. All he wants is a secure 9-5 job where he has guaranteed income on a bi-weekly basis. It was interesting to explain to him that I DON'T desire that. I had a secure job and I left it for this adventure. Financially it's probably not been the best decision I've ever made but I know it's been the right one for my mental stability and I honestly can say that I love my life and I'm ready to embrace the next adventure. Whether it makes people comfortable or not.

Lent update: first fail

Gah! I knew Sunday's would be a challenge. Most Sundays after church we have a potluck. It's wonderful to try different types of food but wow is it hard to avoid cheese! I accidentally took some Greek salad that had feta on it. I still ate it because it wasn't really that much but I was still annoyed with myself. I didn't even realize it until I was halfway down the buffet line when I almost took a slice of cheese. I caught myself on that and then realized I couldn't eat any of the lasagna, potato casseroles and a lot of other stuff. Still when I got my plate back to my table I looked at it and realized it was FULL of amazing goodness. Lots of veggies, a cabbage roll, and even meat. Avoiding cheese has to be a conscious decision but I sure don't feel like I was missing out on anything.

Afterwards I texted my friend Steph to admit my "transgression" and she asked if I was "still keeping it up" (meaning Lent). I replied that of course I was. A little slip doesn't mean I am going to quit entirely. It just makes me hyper vigilant for next time.

This is why Facebook is wonderful

I met someone, in a pub in Quebec, almost three years ago now. We had a brief but interesting chat mostly connecting over the fact that we were both from Waterloo. We friended each other on FB and have had superficial contact ever since. Tonight we actually got together for dinner and it was lovely. He's just as interesting as he was back then (probably more since he's been elected as president of the Student Union at his university) and it was great to catch up. Without FB, as with so many other people that were on the program with us, I'd still be wondering where he was at or would have forgotten about him all together. This way I was able to have a nice meal and share what's been going on in our lives. I know you don't necessarily want to stay connected with everyone you meet in life but sometimes, when they're good people, it's nice to not lose touch.

Lent 2014

So I've never participated in Lent. It's not something that my church observes but I find the practice quite fascinating. I have a lot of friends who observe it and I've decided that this year, I would like to as well. I haven't blogged in awhile so I'm going to share some of the things I'm already doing as lifestyle choices and then I'll share what I'm actually doing, just for the season of Lent. 

Since last April or so I have been reading Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest" daily devotional. In the beginning I was journalling a bit each day which was a great way to really let the truths in that book sink in. Since getting back to Ontario/school, I find I don't have the time to journal so instead I've taken to keeping the book in the bathroom and reading it while I'm brushing my teeth. Probably not particularly spiritual but you know what? I do it every day and it's part of my routine now.

A common Lenten (and New Years) commitment is to exercising and diet. In the past month I've already been exercising fairly regularly (using the treadmill at the gym and participating in an online 30 day fitness challenge via FB) and I will step up my efforts once the weather warms up. I'm consciously cutting down on sugar and flour just as a basic lifestyle choice because I don't NEED them. Protein and veggies are where it's at. Those are long term changes that I don't intend to just observe for forty days though. 

I'd like to actually give something up though. Something that feels like a sacrifice and that can be a reminder for WHY I am doing this. My choice this year is cheese. I love cheese. In fact cheese (all cheese) is my favourite food. France is one of my favourite countries because they have 360 types of cheese there!!! So, for the season of Lent I will not purchase any cheese. This is also a budget decision because I don't actually have any cheese in the fridge right now (really weird for me) and it's crazy expensive so I'm better off not buying it. I'll also make conscious decisions to not have dishes with cheese on them when I'm out (which means no poutine either...that's a good thing too :P) I'm not going off cheese for forever but it will be a good exercise. And when I get an urge to eat cheese I will seek out more information on learning about WHY we observe Lent.

So that's my plan. Wish me luck!

Trucs a Faire

On February 13, 2006 I posted my list of "Things To Do Before I Die". After watching the movie "Up" multiple times this summer I'm renaming my list "Trucs a Faire" which is just French for Things to Do. It seems redundant to say "before I die". Obviously I can't do them once I'm dead :P anyway, The bolded items have been accomplished. The orange ones since the last time I published the complete list which was in January 2011.

96 (and counting) Trucs a Faire

1. Fly first class 
2. Live on my own in my own place 
3. Eat at Sonic 
4. Live in another country...or at least another province 
5. Host dinner party for at least 8 

6. Visit an art gallery 
7. Go to Texas 
8. Ride in a hot air balloon 
9. Fly in a small aircraft 
10. Visit a planetarium 

11. Take a winery tour 
12. Do high tea somewhere 
13. Attend Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 
14. See a drive in movie 
15. Get room service and have breakfast in bed at a nice hotel (I've done room service, but not for breakfast) 

16. Play blackjack at a casino (I’ve played slots but not blackjack yet) 
17. Make homemade ice cream 
18. Try ten new foods (I have definitely accomplished this, multiple times. This is the first time I've crossed it off though)
19. Go sailing 
20. Ride in a limo 

21. Be debt free 
22. Go horse back riding on the wide open plains 
23. Sleep under the stars (without a tent) 
24. Fly in a 747 
25. Collect all 50 US state quarters (only 3 to go!) 

26. Attend my ten year high school reunion 
27. Visit Australia 
28. Visit Great Britain 
29. Get a cat 
30. Take a cruise 

31. Work an election 
32. Watch all moves on AFI top 100 list (I'll try to remember to post an update on this too. I'm making progress)
33. Be in Ottawa for Canada Day 
34. Draft a will 
35. Spend one weekend totally unplugged. No TV, No Computer, No Phone 

36. Visit the Maritimes 
37. Tour the US Eastern seaboard 
38. Pour water from the Atlantic ocean into the Pacific (I find it strange that this is FROM the Atlantic TO the Pacific. You'd think I'd have done this the other way around! - also this is ridiculous. I collected water in Nova Scotia in 2011 and I've carried it to BC with my twice but I haven't been to the ocean there yet!!!) 
39. Fast for 24 hours 

40. Be in audience of a game show or talk show and/or try out for a game show or reality show 
41. Learn to cook 
42. Cook a turkey 
43. Play with a hand bell choir 
44. Complete 25 different crossword puzzles 
45. Take a Self Defence Class 

46. Fire a gun 
47. Host a fondue 
48. Take real swimming lessons (learn proper back stoke, kick turn) 
49. Leave to drive a stick shift 
50. Try yoga 

51. Take a cake decorating class 
52. Visit Nashville 
53. Go parachuting 
54. Take a refresher First Aid course 
55. Sell something on Ebay 

56. Try snowboarding 
57. Try Golf 
58. Watch the Yankees/Mariners play ball 
59. Drink tequila in Tijuana 
60. Go to Disney Land/World 

61. Get a bikini wax 
62. Buy a new condo (or house) (or town house) 
63. Go white water rafting 
64. Climb Mt. Cheam 
65. Have a baby (or two, or three) 

66. Read through the entire bible 
67. Stay at a bed and breakfast 
68. Go to Las Vegas 
69. Go to Paris in the spring time 
70. Learn enough about classical music to be able to identify popular pieces by ear 

71. Shop at the Mall of America 
72. Visit all five great lakes
73. Stay overnight in NYC 
74. Go to Boston in the fall 
75. Stay overnight at a Casino 

76. Visit the San Diego Zoo 
77. Visit Sea World 
78. Take a full two weeks off at a time 
79. Go on a blind date 
80. See a live horse race and place a bet 

81. Visit the Grand Canyon 
82. Take a trip by train (aka travel somewhere on Amtrak) 
83. Do the Vancouver Sun Run 
84. Go to midnight mass 
85. Attend Sunrise Easter Service 

86. Go skinny dipping 
87. Visit all 10 Provincial Legislature Buildings. (9 down 1 to go) 
88. Buy cowboy boots 
89. Go to the Olympics 
90. Fly in a helicopter 

91. Go to a NASCAR race 
92. Get married 
93. Participate in a team sport for a season 
94. Sing a solo at church 
95. Really try to loose weight/get in better shape 

96. Learn another language
97. Visit Melville's grave in Ortona 

Last time I published this I had 82 Trucs a Faire. As of this update I've accomplished 28 so I have 69 left. One by one they'll get done!

My List Update

Apparently I haven't posted an update on My List since halfway through 2011. I find that very strange. Anyway, this will be two parts, first I'm going to post about what I've accomplished this past year (or since 2011 I guess) and then I'll repost the whole list updated with what I need to still complete.

1. Fly first class

So this technically happened this year but it's number one on my list so I'm really excited! LOL Flying back to Buffalo from Seattle. My flight, like thousands of others, was affected by a massive snow storm on the east coast. My connection from Philadelphia to Buffalo was cancelled so I rebooked onto a new flight that took me from Seattle to Charlotte and then caught a new connection to Buffalo. For the leg between Seattle and Charlotte, the longest part, I was given a first class seat!!! It's really nice and spacious. I slept pretty much the whole time and the seats didn't recline as much as I would have liked but it was still nice. I could definitely get used to that.

4. Live in a different country...or at least a different province.

I crossed this off the list when I moved to Ontario in 2010 but in 2013 I got to live in two different countries. The United States and France. Now it's fully achieved.

37. Tour the US Eastern seaboard

This is another one that will always be under development but considering I visit St. Augustine, Florida, Boston, Massachusetts and multiple points in between, I'm marking it complete.





46. Fire a gun

It didn't have bullets but I'm sure a "real" gun will come in time. For now, this will have to do.





69. Go to Paris in the spring time

So Paris in the spring is rainy...but so beautiful. It's not too hot and it's great for walking. I fell in love with the city even though I totally didn't expect to.

72. Visit all five great lakes.

After camping at Lake Huron with Grace and Jess this is officially complete.

82. Take a trip by train

When I wrote this list I never really believed that I would ever take a trip in Europe but it turned out that was the first place I took a trip by train. Multiple trips. Between countries. This picture is me travelling from Amsterdam to Paris. My first train trip!!!

87. Visit all 10 Provincial Legislature Building (9 down, 1 to go)

Only Newfoundland is left!!!

97. Visit Melville's gravesite in Ortona

This was never on my published list but I mentally added it shortly after I wrote the list. It's something I always wanted to do and this summer I accomplished it.

One Word 2014

I love this idea. Ali Edwards defines the One Word challenge as follows:

A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow.

My word for 2013 was ADVENTURE and I lived that out to the fullest. Eleven countries, sixteen US states, two provinces, 49 beds. The year was full of adventure.

My word for 2014 is BALANCE. I actually chose it way back in July when I was still in France when adventure was still the operative word. For 2014 I am focusing on finding balance. Between work and fun. Between school and friends. Between church and life. Balance applies to a lot of areas of my life especially as I face more fourth year courses with their increased reading loads. There are two quotes that I have posted on my wall just above my desk that really define what I mean by balance.

Balance is not better time management but better boundary management. 

Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need from yourself.  

 Balancing time for myself with the demands of school, work, and life. It's a good goal.

Happy New Year everyone.

The Good and the Bad: Train Travelling to Barcelona

Such a weird day. The good was really good and the bad was just annoying.
Good: got to sleep in and didn't have to sweep for once. Had a relaxing morning finishing packing and cleaning my room before going down to the train station. It was sad to say good bye to the family I've been working for as well so that was good because it means I'll miss them.
Bad: I stopped at the MonoPrix for some snacks for the train. They were out of baguettes (?)
Good: I got a cart because I was hauling my bags with me and it was way easier to deal with them that way.
Good: The cart takes 1 euro, 2 euro and 50 cent pieces. That makes it easier.
Bad: I picked the LONGEST slowest moving line in history. And when it was my turn, the clerk decided she needed to replenish her change so I had to wait more.
Bad: When I went to return the cart the cart in front of mine didn't have a key so I lost my two euros because I didn't have time to find someone to retrieve it for me.. :( I hope it made someone's day.
Bad: A store I wanted to visit really badly was closed.
Good: Got on the right train.
Bad: Sat in the right seat in the wrong car and had to move.
Bad: Train was delayed for a half an hour due to technical difficulties.
Good: I realized I was listening to the French announcements and then getting confused when they repeated them in English "they already said tha...oh..."
Good: Even though the train was delayed I made my next two connections without issue.
Bad turned into Good: I was waiting for the Metro in Barcelona and a guy walked by me and gave me a strange look. I got really nervous but then he came back and explained that my backpack was open and asked if he could re-zip it for me.
Bad: I came out of the metro and I was utterly confused as to where I was in relation to where I needed to go. There was no one around that looked good to approach for directions (and my brain still can't decide which language to speak in so I get really tongue tied)
Good: I randomly picked a street (based off what I could remember about the stores on the same block as my hostel when I looked at Google Maps) and not only did I find a Starbucks (It's been over two months since I've had Starbucks, this is exciting) but my hostel was right across the street!
Good: The hostel is amazing! I'm in a room with twelve beds but they're all curtained so it's like a little fort and we each have a lockable cage on wheels under the bed for storage.
Good: I'm in Spain! And I'll be home in less than a week <3 p="">
That's funny, they actually come out equal. Bottom line is I'm in Barcelona safely. I'd say that's all good. 

Walkabout Year

A friend of mine referred to 2013 as my "Walkabout Year". That really helped to put my adventures into perspective. As I wind down my time in France and my prepare to return to Canada I find myself reflecting on the past eight months. What have I been doing all of this for? Is there a bigger purpose? Travel in itself is never wasted but what have I learned from this experience? I'm sure I won't really know the extent of it until I get back home into the environment where I am familiar and comfortable. There I'll see how much I've changed. I do know that I know now more than ever that world is a big place and there is so much to see. I also know that I am Canadian and no matter where I live, that is home. Georgia was wonderful and France is amazing but I'm ready to get back to the middle class rather socialistic society (free healthcare!) that I am used to.

I'm also very ready to get back to church on a regular basis. That has definitely been the biggest struggle for me yet I find that rather than pulling away from God and just living as I please I am even more determined to return to my church family and the encouragement that comes with attending service regularly. It has been good for me to realize that. As someone who was born to Christian parents and raised in church it's nice to confirm that I attend church for me, not just out of habit or because it's something I do but because it is truly my hearts desire to be there and be part of that community.

Another friend asked if I'll be "done with Europe" when my time here is over. I don't think I could ever be "done" with Europe. There's just too much to see. Too much to discover. In fact if all goes well I hope to be back here next summer but that remains to be seen. The bottom line is I've made friends here and connections and I certainly hope I'll be able to return.

But in the meantime I have memories and stories and a deep assurance that I am on the right path with my life. Wherever it takes me.

Ha! I'm editing this to add that about five minutes after I posted it my boss was lamenting the end of summer and said "But you are ready to go home right? Three months is enough?" I replied that yes I am very ready to go home but more so because it's been eight months total. Not just three. Three would be fine. Eight has been hard.