Rational Hesitation

From my Starbucks cup on Wednesday:

The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

Rational hesitation. That’s the story of my life. As I get closer to my goal of moving to Ontario, my commitment deepens and I have to admit, my hesitation is going away as well. More and more people are learning of my plan and, once they hear my reasons, they support me whole heartedly.

My newest consideration/decision, what ever you want to call it, is the idea of going to school when I move to Ontario. The timing certainly makes sense and I am looking for a change. School would be a big change and a good challenge. I’m still not 100% sold on what I’d take but that’s part of the fun of it. Exploring different options.

So now my rational hesitation about school. There are so many pros and cons.

Pros:

• Is school ever wasted?
• I’d learn so much!
• It would be fun
• It’s slightly more flexible than having a full time job although I’d be poor
• I can justify working at Starbucks (something which I’m inexplicably obsessed with doing)

Cons:

• Financially student loans are the only way to swing is. Is that crazy?
• Are there actually jobs in the history field? (which is what I’m leaning towards studying. Aside from teaching. I don’t want to teach.)
• It’s school. It’s been ten years since I was in school.
• I know nothing about being a student. It’s a whole new world to learn about.

I can’t even think about apply for the 2010/2011 year until September so I can’t commit to anything. Until then the rational hesitation rules.