Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Subtle Change

I don’t know if it’s the Valentines Day hoopla that made me realize this or what but lately I’ve been noticing a subtle change in the way people address my “situation in life” (to borrow a phrase from Jane Austen). I’m 28 years old and I’m finding that people are changing their wording from “when you get married and have children” or “if” to “if you want to” or “do you want to”? Like I’m choosing to not have a relationship or family. In a day and age where it’s quite acceptable for women to remain unmarried and childless, it is viewed as a choice.

I’m not offended by it. The same as I’m really not offended by the endless “are you married yet? Anyone special in your life?” Questions. Mostly I realize that people just care and want me to be happy. I do find it amusing that they seem to think that I am choosing to not be married though.

Yes I choose to not date just anyone and I definitely don’t sleep around but I wouldn’t say I’m choosing to be single any more than I’d “choose” to be IN a relationship. I mean it’s not like you can just go to the store and buy a husband or child. I’d like nothing more than to change my “situation” but I don’t feel that it’s up to me to decide when that happens. And until it does happen, I’ll continue to live my life the best way I know how, and I’ll watch to see how people react.


Shelljo said...

Oh, do I remember those days! You are comfortable with YOU and you sure have a busy life! Isn't it funny tho that there are some people who think you can't be happy unless you have a man in your life. You've got a good attitude Heidi. I like that!

Veronica said...

And then you get to the stage where people just assume you are married with children and look completely horrified when they find out you aren't ;)